Six weeks passed. Zander went home four days after his and Jason's first session with Dr. Lee. Home was a split level house that had twelve rooms. There was a loft-like feel to the place because the rooms tended to be very open and spacious with a sunken living room with a cathedral ceiling and one side made up mostly of glass. Zander liked the place but had spent most of the first week in his room. The tension had been high between him and Jason after the session and the only reason Zander had agreed to move in with Jason was because it was the only way the doctors would release him as soon as they did.
But the tension had faded in the second week when Zander had awakened from a nightmare and had gone down to the kitchen to look for some whiskey. He knew Jason had it in the house but was hiding it from him. So Zander hadn't found the whiskey, but he had found Jason, on the deck, crying. Zander had gone to him, wiping away Jason's tears, kissing them away and then they had talked. About everything that had happened. About Jason's fears and Zander's nightmares and then they had gone to Zander's room and had lain in each other's arms and fallen asleep. And every night after that they would sleep in Zander's bed. But only sleep.
Now they had been in the house for six weeks and they were still doing that. Only sleeping. Zander was becoming frustrated. And he had said as much to Jason in their sessions with Dr. Lee. And Jason's response remained the same. He didn't want to hurt Zander.
Only he was hurting him now. In the physical sense. Zander's cast had come off two weeks ago and he had started intense physical therapy to regain full movement in his shoulder. It drove Zander nuts not being able to use it the way he was used to. Jason had bought the house, in part, because of the weight room and he had worked with Zander's physical therapist to learn the exercises that would help Zander's recovery. They were doing them now and Jason was a hard task master. He wouldn't let Zander get away with doing any of the exercises half way. Usually Zander didn't mind. The PT did seem to help and he liked being challenged, but tonight he was tired and sore and feeling antsy. So when Jason told him to do another set of reps on the pulley, Zander told him to go to hell.
Jason got in Zander's personal space. He curled his left hand over Zander's on the pulley handle then made him pull. "Do as I say," Jason stated.
Zander didn't reply. He couldn't. Jason was standing behind him, his body flush with Zander's, and it was impossible not to feel Jason's erection against his ass. All Zander was wearing were sweat pants and a tank top. He bit his lip as Jason bit closer. Zander wasn't sure when it had happened, but he was in love with Jason and he wanted him. His body was on fire for him. It was crazy but it was real and Zander felt ready to explode. "Please...Jason," he whispered.
Jason's response was to bite Zander's earlobe, even as he kept the pulley in motion. "Five more reps," he whispered.
Each rep was an excruciatingly slow pull out, then back down. Zander was doing okay until Jason's free arm snaked around his waist and fingers slid inside his sweats to stroke his lower belly, scratching through his happy trail but carefully avoiding his own, now aching, cock.
"Five…done," Jason said suddenly, releasing Zander and stepping back.
"Done.." Zander echoed, feeling dazed. He turned around and looked at Jason. He saw desire in the blue eyes but then Jason was turning away.
Moving to the door, Jason said, "Take a shower. I'll be up in a few to give you your rub down." Then he was gone.
Zander cursed, resisting the urge to kick something, then headed for his room. Ten minutes later he was done showering. He had lost the mood, so to speak, thanks to Jason's attitude and two minutes of cold water spraying over him. The rest of the time he had spent getting clean then just standing under the hot spray. His shoulder ached. But now he was done so Zander headed into the bedroom, wrapping a towel around his waist. He was ready for a nap. But he stopped short when he saw Jason sitting on the bed.
"Come lay down," Jason ordered, his eyes smoldering as they roamed over Zander.
"I'm tired," Zander stated. He was still a bit peeved at Jason for teasing him.
Jason stood up. "I'll make you feel better."
Zander moved to the bed, unable to help himself. He went to lie down but Jason stopped him, tugging the towel off him first. Zander felt himself flush as Jason simply looked at him for a long moment. Then he was pushed down onto his stomach and Zander closed his eyes as he felt Jason's jeans brush against his thighs as he straddled him. Strong fingers began massaging his shoulder muscles and Zander sighed in pleasure. In fact he almost fell asleep, in spite of the fact that Jason was probing sore spots, but then warm lips were against his ear and Jason was telling him to roll over. Zander did so then opened his eyes to see that Jason was now naked. Then Jason was kissing him and nothing else mattered.
"You're so beautiful," Jason whispered, as he pulled back to kiss his way down Zander's body. When he reached his cock he sucked the tip into his mouth.
"You're killing me," Zander choked out, his hands cupping Jason's head. It had been so long since they had been together and before it had been different. All about control. But now it was about mutual wants and needs. It was about desire but it was also about love.
Jason pulled off but only to grab the bottle of lube that was on the night stand. He slicked his fingers then pushed open Zander's thighs so he could press a finger inside him. He probed a bit until he found the hot spot. Jason continued to rub the spot as he sucked Zander's cock back into his mouth. It wasn't long before he was swallowing Zander's release.
Zander was panting as Jason moved over him to kiss him, sharing his taste. "I want to do that to you," Zander whispered.
"Okay." Jason shifted around so that he was lying on his back.
"You're the beautiful one," Zander said, as he reached for Jason's cock. He took the tip into his mouth and sucked on it and the moan that erupted from Jason was music to his ears. Zander tasted precum and he licked it, savoring its bitterness. Then he found ways to worship Jason's cock, knowing just when to pull back. "Stay," Zander ordered, when Jason made to sit up. Smiling and feeling in control, Zander grabbed the bottle of lube and he slicked Jason's cock. Then he moved over it, gripping its base to guide it against his opening, then he pressed down, taking it deep inside him.
Jason tried to stop him when Zander hissed at the burn, but he lay back down when Zander shook his head at him. "You okay?" he asked, once he was fully sheathed inside his lover.
Zander nodded. "Yeah...I think I am," he whispered, then he began to move. Zander watched Jason's face as he found the perfect rhythm for them both, and when he felt Jason's release inside him it felt perfect. He wanted to belong to Jason. He felt safe with him and he felt whole. Something Zander had searched for his entire life. "I love you, Jason," Zander whispered, as he moved to lay beside him.
"I love you too," Jason replied, drawing the covers up over them. Then they drifted off to sleep.
* * * * *
Carly came to visit. Jason was with Sonny, talking business, so Carly thought it would be a good time for her and Zander to talk. They had been revisiting their friendship since Zander had moved in with Jason and they were both happy about it. Carly smiled as she studied Zander. "You look happy," she stated.
Zander nodded. "I am. It kind of scares me though. I keep waiting to fuck it up somehow."
"I know that feeling." Carly reached out and hugged Zander. "But don't let it get to you, Zander. Just be happy and enjoy it. You deserve it. So does Jason. He's changed you know...in a good way."
"We both have. It's just...weird." Zander stood up and began to pace.
Carly watched him. "What's weird?"
Zander made a face at her. "Me and Jason. Come on, Carly. Didja you see that coming?"
"Nope, can't say I did," Carly admitted.
"I've never thought about being with another man, Carly. I've always loved women. I still do." Zander began pacing again.
Carly understood. "I've had sex with other women," she blurted out.
That stopped Zander cold. "Really?"
"Why?" Zander moved to sit down beside her.
Carly shrugged. It wasn't something that was easy to explain. "It felt right at the time. I lived with one girl for a while. The other one was just lust. A one night stand. Ultimately...I think all that matters is being with someone you love. Right?"
Zander sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah...I guess. I just...I always thought that person would be Emily, not her brother. You know...the guy that hated me and even tried to kill me a couple of times."
"Well...there is that," Carly countered, her tone teasing. "But sometimes you just have to accept what you feel. Just live in the moment."
"Good advice," Zander stated. "Thanks." He hugged Carly then stood up and pulled her with him. "Want to try out the Jacuzzi Jason had put in?"
Carly laughed and nodded. "Let's do it." She followed Zander out and realized that for the first time in a long time, life was good.
* * * * *
Zander felt happy in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Jason was curled behind him, his cock still inside Zander, keeping them connected in all ways. "Do you really have to go?" he asked, as Jason nipped his shoulder.
"It's just for a few weeks," Jason replied. "Sonny needs my help."
"I need you too," Zander countered. But he knew he was being petty. Sonny had asked Jason to go to Europe to take care of business for him. It was an important deal and a matter that Jason was good at dealing with. Zander knew he should just accept it, but he couldn't help wanting to be selfish. He didn't want to let Jason go.
Jason stroked Zander's chest, drawing lazy circles over the smooth flesh. "I'll be back soon...I promise. I love you, Zander. You know that...right?"
Zander took Jason's hand and kissed his palm, tasting his own release. "Yeah...I know," he whispered. "I love you too. Which scares the hell out of me sometimes."
"I know the feeling." Jason shifted over Zander, turning his head to claim a kiss. "Go to sleep," he whispered. "I'll be gone when you wake up, but I'll call you once I get there."
"Be safe," Zander replied, then he snuggled closer and let his eyes drift closed. And he dreamed about an angel dressed in black.
© Shelly 2004