On Common Ground
Stefan took Zander to his rooms. Once inside he closed the door then turned to the boy. "We don't have to do this," he said softly.
"I need to do this," Zander replied.
"Do you?" Stefan didn't miss Zander's choice of words. Need, over want.
Zander nodded. "I need to figure out what I feel for you. What it means. I just...I don't know what to do next."
Stefan could see that he was shaking. "I'll guide you," he promised, moving to Zander and taking his face between both hands. Then he kissed him, gently, giving Zander a chance to respond or to pull away. He felt relief wash over him when Zander kissed him back. Stefan deepened the kiss, letting his tongue slide into Zander's mouth when the sweet lips parted for him. They kissed until they were both breathless, then Stefan pushed at Zander's jacket until if fell off his shoulders and hit the floor with a thud. "I want to see you," Stefan said warmly.
"Okay." Zander nodded but he was obviously nervous.
"Okay," Stefan echoed, as he tugged at the hem of Zander's tee shirt. He was pleased when Zander helped him to pull it over his head. Stefan tossed it aside then looked his fill of Zander bared flesh. He reached out and let his fingertips trace over the scar between the perfect pectorals. "What happened?"
Zander shrugged. "I got shot. Long story."
Stefan leaned into to kiss the scar and he felt Zander stiffen. "You'll have to tell it to me some time," he stated, then he moved to nip at a flat nipple and heard Zander's gasp. "Do you want me to stop?"
"Yes...no." Zander shook his head. "This is so…weird."
"I know." Stefan stepped back and undid his own shirt, stripping it off. "You can touch me, Zander. I want you to see and feel the differences and the similarities between us. To get used to what this means...being with another man."
Zander nodded then reached out with a tentative hand. He pressed his palm over Stefan's heart. "I don't know what to do next," he admitted.
Stefan did know. "Let me pleasure you," he whispered, his hands going to Zander's jeans. He made short work of unfastening them but stopped before pushing them down Zander's strong legs. "Kick off your boots," he ordered, then he watched Zander obey him. Smiled when Zander wisely removed his socks as well. Then Stefan slid the jeans down till they puddled around Zander's ankles. He took Zander by the hand and tugged, so the boy stepped out of the jeans. Then Stefan guided him over to the bed. He kissed Zander again even as his fingers curled in the waist band of the black boxer-briefs Zander was wearing. Stefan slid them down a bit and felt Zander tense up, so he stopped. He broke the kiss to whisper, "Trust me." When Zander nodded, Stefan let his hands slide inside the briefs to cup the firm ass before kissing Zander again. He was more than willing to take this slow.
When Stefan felt Zander relax against him, focusing solely on the kiss, and the boy knew how to kiss. He kissed in a way that left Stefan feeling dizzy with desire. Sexy, deep kisses, yet there was a taunting quality to them, as if Zander were just giving a preview of what was to come. It left Stefan wanting and needing more. And he would have more. He would have it all. He let his hands push down the boxer-briefs, breaking away from Zander's sweet mouth so he could lower the briefs all the way down the strong legs. But Stefan was careful to keep Zander distracted, by kissing his way down the boy's chest, licking at the scar, then nipping his way down the ridged abdomen. He used his tongue to tease Zander's navel for a moment and then he was licking his way down the happy trail to the prize.
Zander gasped as Stefan's fingers curled over his cock, then warm lips touched the tip. "Wait!"
"God you are so beautiful," Stefan breathed, as he rose to his feet. But his fingers remained curled around Zander's cock, stroking the warm shaft until he felt it stir into hardness. And all the while he pushed Zander down onto the bed. Stefan knew he had to continue this, for both of them. He knew that Zander's protests were based on feeling overwhelmed and he would help him through it. "So beautiful," Stefan whispered, as he studied Zander's face. Eye's heavy-lidded with a passion that he could not deny. Soft lips parted and red from kisses. And the soft, panting, breaths that Zander was emitting stoked Stefan's own desire. His cock was hard and aching in his pants, which is why he left it there for the moment. Zander had enough to deal with for now. "You're beautiful and sexy and sensual in a way that makes me insane," Stefan continued, still stroking, and now Zander's cock was full length in his hand. Thick and long and throbbing. "You were made for this, Zander. Made for making love to."
"Is that what this is?" Zander countered, his voice hoarse.
Stefan kissed him. "For me it is" That is all he would say about it for now. He moved down Zander's body and took the boy's cock into his mouth. He felt Zander stiffen as he sucked on the swollen tip, and then a low moan escaped Zander and Stefan felt his own cock twitch in response. With care and expertise, Stefan brought Zander to orgasm. And when he came he swallowed every drop, holding Zander in his mouth as the boy softened, then letting him slip out before climbing back over the perfect body. Zander's eyes were closed and Stefan kissed the lids gently. "You okay?"
Zander nodded. "Embarrassed, but okay."
"That you could do that to me." Zander's eyes opened but he couldn't hold Stefan's gaze. "It's my mindset, you know. It's fucked up that another guy could make me cum. And I...I wanted you to. And it's just...fucked up."
Stefan combed his fingers through Zander's hair. He understood the boy's confusion and conflicting emotions. "Do you want to stop now?"
Zander squeezed his eyes shut. "No. I know there's more. You haven't...I haven't..."
"You don't have to pleasure me the same way, Zander," Stefan interjected. "I don't think you're ready for that yet."
"It's not fair."
Stefan smiled, but it was a sad smile. Nothing in either of their lives had ever been fair. "It's okay, Zander. I can take care of my own needs. This is all about you right now. What you want...and what you need."
Zander locked eyes with Stefan. "I need to see this through." As he spoke he reached down and pressed his hand over Stefan's crotch.
"Wait." Stefan grabbed Zander's wrist and pulled his hand away.
"I thought...I thought you wanted me?"
Stefan heard the hurt in Zander's tone and saw it reflected in the hazel eyes. He kissed him. "I do want you, I'm sure you could feel how much. But I don't want to come in my pants. I haven't done that since I was 14."
Zander chuckled, then sobered. "Then...what can I do? What do you want?"
"Truth?" It was going to be a hard one.
Stefan let actions speak along with his words. He stroked one hand over Zander's chest, feeling the boy twitch at his touch. Then he let his fingertips brush over Zander's cock for a moment before slipping underneath. He squeezed the tender balls then he slid under them, letting a finger tip brush between the taut buttocks. He felt Zander tense but the boy held his gaze as Stefan said softly, "I want to be inside you."
Zander bit his lip. "Okay."
"You don't owe this to me, Zander," Stefan countered, guessing that he was quick to agree out of some sense of obligation.
"I know...But...I feel as if....as if this is something you need that I can give you. And I want to do that."
Stefan understood what Zander meant and he accepted it. Whatever the outcome of this moment, they both needed to see it through. Rising from the bed, Stefan opened the bed table drawer and removed a bottle of lubricant. He could feel Zander watching him as he placed it on the bed then undressed himself. Suddenly Zander was there, helping him. He could feel the boy trembling. "I can stop at any time, Zander. Remember that." Then he was moaning because he was naked and Zander's fingers were curling around his cock. Stefan pushed him back down, one hand reaching for the bottle of lube. Looming over Zander, Stefan began to kiss him, his hips thrusting a bit as Zander's hand kept stroking him. Instinctively, Zander knew what to do. Stefan kept enough presence of mind to slick his own fingers, then he stroked between Zander's buttocks, finding the way in and pushing gently. He felt Zander's gasp against his lips as his finger pressed all the way in. Then another gasp as he found the hot spot. "Just let yourself feel it," Stefan whispered. The grip around his cock had loosened and Stefan pulled back onto his knees enough to press the bottle of lubricant into Zander's hand. The boy caught on quick and soon Stefan was gasping as strong fingers slicked his cock. Stefan slid his fingers out of Zander. "On your stomach," he beseeched him, his voice hoarse.
Zander obeyed, obediently lifting his hips when Stefan slid a pillow under them. "I trust you," he whispered.
"Thank you." Stefan felt as if he had just been given a precious gift. He let his hands massage Zander's shoulders, slowly making their way down the muscled back to the perfect ass that awaited him. Stefan opened Zander then pressed inside. One inch then he stopped when Zander stiffened. "Pleasure with the pain, Zander," Stefan whispered. He made another inch then another. Was almost all the way inside the beautiful tightness when he felt Zander shudder. Stefan froze and rubbed his lower back. "Do you want me to stop?"
"No." Zander's voice was muffled into the pillow under his head. "I'm okay..."
Stefan accepted his word as the truth and pushed all the way in. He held still again to let Zander adjust. "I know it hurts. The burn will ease in a moment."
Zander said nothing, his breathing was heavy and time passed. Then he shifted a bit, thrusting his hips just a little.
Stefan got the hint and began to move. He shifted himself to angle in, wanting Zander to feel pleasure as well. And then he was moving hard and fast, feeling the tingle in the base of his spine and the tightening of his balls. His orgasm came in a rush that swept over him like a tidal wave, and then he was slumping over Zander. "That was beautiful...you're so beautiful," Stefan whispered in his ear. But then he felt Zander shaking and he pulled back. "I'm sorry...Zander."
"It's okay." Zander moaned as Stefan pulled out then he rolled over. Tears stained his cheeks. "It's just...overwhelming. It's almost too...intimate. I don't know how to explain it."
"Do you want me to leave you alone?"
Zander shook his head. "No. Uh...but I would like to shower."
Stefan nodded. "Of course." He watched Zander rise from the bed, taking a sheet with him. Then the boy left the room. Stefan knew he needed the comfort of his own room. He sighed and wondered if he had lost Zander forever. If so, it was too late for regrets. And he did not regret this night. Rising from the bed, Stefan headed for the bathroom.
* * * * *
Stefan was dressed in silk pajama bottoms and robe when a knock sounded on his door. "Come in." He was pleased to see Zander enter. The boy was wearing light sweat pants and a tank top. "You okay?"
"Yeah. I think so. Um...I was wondering..." Zander broke off and shuffled his feet.
"Go on," Stefan prompted.
Zander looked at the bed then at Stefan. "Can I sleep with you tonight?" he asked in a rush.
Stefan smiled and felt himself relax. This was a good sign. "Of course. I was just getting ready to sleep." He gestured for Zander to climb into the bed then he turned off the light and joined him. He was pleased when Zander turned to snuggle into him. Stefan kissed him then whispered, "Good night."
* * * * *
Stefan woke first and showered and dressed, then he watched Zander sleeping. When the hazel eyes opened he smiled. "Good morning."
"Morning." Zander sat up and ran a hand through his hair. "What time is it?"
"About ten. You were tired."
Zander nodded. "Give me a minute and I'll get dressed."
Stefan waved a hand at him. "Relax. You don't have to rush today. In fact, I have to go out of town on business for a few days. I got a call from Japan."
"Is everything okay?"
"Yes, very much so." Stefan was being sincere. "It's business with an old friend and it could be profitable for us both. You'll have to take the hospital board meeting tomorrow. But I know you can handle it. Make my excuses."
Zander frowned then nodded. "Of course. Stefan...is your leaving only about business?"
Stefan knew what he was asking. "It is business, Zander. But I think it's a good thing for us. For you. You need time to think about what happened."
"Yeah...I do. But I want you to know one thing."
Zander locked eyes with Stefan. "I don't know what I want yet. I don't know what it means between us. But I don't regret last night. I just...I want you to know that."
Stefan felt relief wash over him. He knew that Zander was still confused, but the one thing he feared was that last night had changed everything between them. But now he knew that it would change things, but that he would not lose Zander completely. "Thank you. Look...I have to go." Stefan took a chance and kissed Zander, and he was pleased when the boy cupped the back of his head and kissed him back. Stefan was breathless when he broke away and he saw the wicked glint of delight in Zander's eyes. The boy was a tease. "I'll call you later. Take care of business." With that Stefan was gone.
* * * * *
Later that night, Zander was working in the study. Mrs. Lansbury had left him brownies and milk and an admonition not to stay up all night. Stefan had called earlier and all was well. Zander had spent the day trying not to think about last night. He failed. But he wasn't ready to figure out what it meant yet. So he decided to go out for a bit. He headed into town and found his way to Jake's. But after a few beers and winning a few games of pool, Zander decided to head back home. He still felt out of sorts. He was heading for his car when two guys appeared. Two big guys. Zander didn't have a chance to react before they were on him. He felt something wet pressed over his face then darkness claimed him.
© Shelly 2004