Jason sat in a darkened room. The furniture was sparse and shabby, just a double bed with only one sheet on it and a threadbare cover, and the chair he was sitting it. It was more than enough. Through the single window he could see the flashing red neon sign advertising Black Jack's bar. Both *A*'s were shorted out. Jason didn't care. He just sat there, staring at the door. Almost upon command, it opened and Zander stood there.


Jason didn't blink. "You're late."


"I told you...I don't want to do this anymore."


"That's not your choice to make. Close the door." Jason watched as Zander obeyed. "Jacket off." He continued to watch as Zander's black leather jacket hit the floor with a dull thud. Methodically, Jason's eyes roamed over the boy. Zander wore a black shirt with black jeans. The shirt was tucked in and showed how slender his waist was. The boy was leaner these past few months, but Jason knew that beneath the black clothing, Zander's muscles were more defined than ever. Zander was whipcord strength now. Jason had spent the past six months teaching him the basics of boxing, martial arts and street fighting. He wanted Zander to be able to defend himself, so that no one would be a threat to Zander. No one but himself.


Jason's eyes roamed up to Zander's face. Still a baby face but with old eyes. Hazel eyes darkened with pain. Zander was a physical and emotional punching bag for too many people, and Jason included himself in the bunch. "You cut your hair." The forelock was still gone. It was a funky cut and suited Zander. Jason knew that it was an attempt to look older, oddly enough he looked younger.


Zander looked anywhere but at Jason. "Just a trim…for work. Ned isn't keen on long hair at ELQ."


"Don't cut it again." Jason rose from the chair and moved in a blur of motion, invading Zander's personal space. He grabbed handfuls of Zander's shirt, ripping it open, not caring that the buttons went flying. Then he curled his fingers in the glossy, dark, hair, holding Zander still as he claimed the sweet lip, his tongue pushing in to taste coffee and chocolate. The taste of Zander.


Jason heard Zander whimper as he deepened the kiss. He didn't let up though. He didn't have too. He could be rough with Zander. The kid was tough. He could take everything Jason dished out. He wouldn't shatter the way Liz or Courtney would have, were Jason to allow himself to be who he really was with them. Then again, neither woman had ever really wanted to see the real Jason. Zander accepted him freely. Jason could play at being gentle and tender, but it was only an act. One he didn't have to rely on with Zander. No lies between them. Only the truth, open and raw and burning.


Jason didn't feel love. He understood what it mean but he didn't feel it anymore. Nothing was black or white. Nothing was as simplistic as love verses hate, pleasure verses pain or right versus wrong. Emotionally and mentally, everyone and everything was shades of gray for Jason. Except for Zander. Jason could be himself. And sometimes he did feel something. Something he couldn't define but something that he craved like a drug. Only Zander could give him this.


"Jason...please.." Zander begged as he broke the kiss and panted for breath.


"Please…what?" Jason tugged on Zander's hair, pulling his head to the side to expose the line of his neck. Jason leaned in and sucked on the tender flesh, then licked his way over to Zander's jaw line, feeling the soft rasp of stubble against his tongue.


Zander pushed at Jason. "I can't do this anymore. I don't want to."


Jason heard the desperate plea in Zander's voice but ignored it. He needed this, he needed Zander. He couldn't let this end, could never let him go. "You want this, Zander," Jason whispered. "You need this as much as I do." Because in the end, Jason accepted Zander as well. He accepted the fact that Zander was kid who had a fucked up life and who would feel things too deeply in every way, no matter how hard he tried not to care. Not to feel. They were polar opposites that were a perfect fit. "You need me."


"No...I don't. This is messed up, Jason. You're messed up."


"Shhh..." Jason hushed him with another kiss. He slid one hand out of the thick hair, pulling back just enough to slide his hand between their bodies. He pinched one of Zander's nipples till it hardened, then reached the waistband of his jeans. Still kissing Zander, Jason undid the belt and the jeans and freed Zander's cock. There was no underwear to block his way. "You do need this, Zander," Jason whispered, then he fell to his knees, tugging the jeans down until they puddled at Zander's feet. He curled his fingers around Zander's cock and stroked him to hardness. Then he took Zander in his mouth and felt the boy do a full body shudder.


Jason knew that Zander could not resist this, seeing him on his knees, worshipping his cock. So it surprised him a bit when Zander made an attempt to pull away. Jason locked one are around the back of Zander's thighs to hold him in place, then he lightly bit his cock as a warning. Zander went still and Jason suckled him to orgasm. He swallowed every drop of cum then rose to his feet to kiss Zander, making the boy taste himself. "Undress for me." It was a command, not a request. Jason stepped back to watch as Zander obeyed. He could see the boy trembling as he stepped out of his boots and pants, before shrugging the tattered shirt off his shoulders. A half smile curved Jason's lips. Naked Zander was a beautiful sight. "Come here."


Jason didn't blink as Zander approached him. But his eyes hardened as he spotted bruising on Zander's rib cage. He reached out and brushed a finger over it and Zander twitched. "What happened?"


Zander shook his head. "Nothing."


"Don't lie to me, Zander!" Jason grabbed him and pushed him down on the bed, flat out on his back before crawling over him and straddling the lean hips. "Who hurt you?"


"Doesn't matter," Zander replied. "It happened almost a week ago. I handled it."


Jason kissed the bruises. "Tell me." He nipped and licked his way over Zander's abdomen. In his jacket pocket was a tube of lubricant and he pulled it out and coated the fingers of his left hand. "Roll over." Once Zander had obeyed, Jason ran his hand over the taut buttocks, then he slid one slicked finger between them, finding the puckered opening and pushing in. He stroked in and out for a moment before adding another finger, then he scissored them to stretch Zander before curling his finger to find the hot spot. Found it and felt Zander clench around his fingers as a moan escaped him. "Tell me who hurt you," Jason demanded, as he added one more finger.


Zander moaned as the third finger slid inside him. "It was just some guy I used to know."


"Who?" Jason crooked his fingers again, repeatedly brushing over Zander's prostrate, feeling the boy react to the pleasure and he knew he was ready for him. Sliding his fingers out, Jason freed his cock, slicked it with lube, then he stuffed two pillows under Zander's hips. "Tell me who?" Jason repeated. When Zander didn't reply, Jason spread the taut buttocks, lined himself up and pushed inside. One hard thrust and Jason was halfway in. He went still as Zander gasped in pain, allowing him a moment to adjust. He needed a moment as well. It was a tight fit, but a perfect one, and Jason's cock throbbed in anticipation. "I want a name, Zander," he breathed in his ear. Still response so Jason gripped the lean hips and pressed all the way in until his balls were snug against Zander's ass. Then he went still and waited. It didn't take long before Zander was squirming, and when Jason remained frozen, Zander pressed up onto his hands and knees, trying to force movement. Jason couldn't allow that. This was all about control. His control. He pushed Zander down and removed his belt. "Hands behind your back," he ordered. When Zander obeyed, Jason quickly bound his wrists together. Now the beautiful boy was completely helpless. Completely at Jason's mercy. The headiness of it was something that Jason could feel all too much. This was what he lived for. This sensation that was so rare and so fleeting. It was only like this between them. Only Zander could give him this.


Jason leaned in over Zander's back to whisper in his ear," Give me a name, Zander and I'll give you what we both want."


Zander moaned. "Why can't you let it go, Jason? Let me go?"


"Not happening! Ever!" Jason fisted a hand in Zander's hair and twisted his head so that he could reach the soft lips. He kissed Zander until they were both breathless, all the while still buried in the tight ass and not moving.


"Move…dammit!" Desperation made Zander's voice harsh.


Jason chuckled. "Give me a name." As an incentive he pulled out to the tip of his cock then lazily stroked back in. He knew he had angled himself just right when Zander whimpered and his body twitched almost convulsively. "What's his name, Zander?"


Zander moaned. "I only know his…nickname."


"That'll work." Jason pulled out and thrust in again, still slowly, torturing them both. Zander was a perfect fit for him, his muscled walls sealing around Jason's cock like a leather glove.


"Speed...his name is Speed." Zander was gasping now as Jason's thrusts increased in speed and depth.


Jason was close, too close. The control was gone and he leveraged back onto his knees, gripping Zander's lean hips so he could pound into the tight ass. So he could finally achieve his release. Jason came in a rush and emptied his seed in a steady pulse. He slumped over Zander for a moment, knowing that the boy could handle his weight. Then he eased back and pulled out quickly. Jason had a damp towel waiting on the bedside table. He cleaned himself then he made slow work of cleaning Zander, enjoying the intimacy of the moment, even though Zander was squirming beneath him. Once done, Jason undid the belt and allowed Zander to roll over onto his back. He saw the come that glistened on Zander's spent cock. Jason wiped him clean. "Good boy, Zander."


Sliding off the bed, Jason grabbed his jacket and shrugged it on, his eyes never leaving the beautiful, naked, boy on the bed. "I want you to go home, Zander. I'll call you later."


"What are you going to do to Speed?"


"No one gets to hurt you but me, Zander." That was all the answer Jason gave. He moved to the bed and leaned in to cup Zander's chin in one hand. He kissed him tenderly, just for one moment, then he turned and walked out the door. But he would be back. He would always go back. Zander was his addiction.