Jason paced as Dr. Sorato examined Zander. He then administered a sedative when Zander became highly agitated.
"I didn't like doing that," he admitted to Jason, when they were alone. "I want to cleanse his body of drugs, not feed more into him."
"Forget that for now," Jason countered. "What the hell is going on? Why doesn't Zander remember me? Or anything...for that matter."
Dr. Sorato rubbed a hand over his face. "Zander is suffering from suppressed memory. Not surprising given the trauma he's suffered. His conscious mind has chosen to forget the bad things that have happened to him. At least the most recent stuff. He kept mentioning some guy named Sorel. He seems terrified of him."
Jason nodded. "Yeah...Sorel was a low life drug dealer that Zander worked for when he was a kid. Bad news. He's dead now but Zander doesn't seem to want to accept my word for it."
"Well...I don't think that's surprising, all things given."
"So what do we do to get his memory back?"
Dr. Sorato shrugged. "It might not come back. Although a shock of some kind might kick it back, which I don't suggest doing unless you want to risk a complete mental and emotional breakdown."
Jason was frustrated. "So what do I do?"
"Take it one day at a time. Talk to Zander about what he does remember. And don't push anything."
"What about mentioning Alcazar and the rapes?"
Dr. Sorato shrugged again. "I don't know. If he's suppressed the memories, then he probably won't believe you about that."
Jason ran a hand over his head. "What about my sister, Emily. Zander loves her. Could talking about her trigger some good memories?"
"Again...I don't know. For the record...you'll have other things to worry about."
Dr. Sorato reached for his medical bag and his hat. "The fact that Zander is pretty much an addict at this point, and he's going to want a fix."
Jason felt tired just thinking about what was to come. "I'll deal," he stated.
"You'll have to. Call me if you need me." With that, Dr. Sorato let himself out.
"Fuck," Jason whispered, then he went into the bedroom. He stood beside the bed and watched Zander sleeping. He looked like the kid he was. Jason didn't want to deal with him. He didnít' want to care about what happened to Zander. But he did. And not just because of Elizabeth. Heaving a sigh, Jason moved to a nearby chair and collapsed into it. He had been in contact with Sonny and had learned that Alcazar was gone. Which meant Elizabeth was gone as well. Sonny had people searching for them. Jason wanted to help but he knew he could do more good by staying with Zander. For now. By saving him for Elizabeth.
* * * * *
Zander was feeling desperate. He had woken up to find himself still in restraints and the man called Jason kept explaining to him that he had been suffering withdrawals and needed to be restrained so as to not hurt himself. Zander sort of believed him. He sure felt like hell. Sore all over and tired and achy feeling. He had slept alot and two days passed, or so Jason told him. At least now he was free of the restraints. He had showered and dressed in jeans and a tee shirt and now he was on the veranda with Jason. Breakfast was laid out but Zander wasn't hungry. He felt jumpy and jittery and it was a familiar feeling. Zander tried to focus on the questions Jason was asking him, to distract himself. Jason told him that he had lost some of his memory and that they needed to figure out how much he remembered.
"So how long have you been working for Sorel?" Jason was asking.
"About a year." Zander scratched at his forearm. But it was like he couldn't quite find the itch and it was making him nuts.
Jason shoved a muffin at Zander. "Eat."
Zander ignored it. "You told me Sorel was dead. How did he die?"
"His daughter offed him."
Jason shrugged. "End result is he's dead. That's all that matters." Pouring a glass of orange juice, Jason set it in front of Zander. "Drink it or I'll force it down you. Through your nose if I have to."
Zander believed he would do that. He drank some of the juice. "Where are we?"
"A safe place."
"Why am I here? If Sorel is dead...why do I need to be in a safe place? And why are you helping me?"
Jason sighed. "Let's just say that another bad guy is after you and leave it at that for now."
Zander scratched his arm again. It didn't help the itchy feel in the least. He stood up and paced over to the stone railing. Down below them was a white beach with crystal blue water. He loved the water. "When are we going back to Port Charles?"
"Any reason why you're so anxious to go back?" Jason queried.
"I guess not."
Jason joined Zander at the railing. "What's the last thing you remember?"
Zander closed his eyes and rubbed at his forehead, trying to think. But the ache behind his eyes was distracting. "I was working a Rave. I was late because Sorel was holding me up. He was mad about something...he hit me." Zander broke off then shrugged. "I dunno. I worked the Rave. Ended up high."
"I always had the impression you didn't like drugs. That you weren't a user."
"I wasn't...not really. Not by choice." Zander could remember the couple of times that Sorel had shoved a needle in his arm. He wanted Zander dependant on him. But even though the withdrawal sucked, Zander would suffer through it rather than let Sorel control him. Which usually meant a beating in retaliation. Zander shook his head. He didn't want to remember this stuff. "Can we talk about something else?"
Jason nodded. "Let's talk about why you ran away from home."
Zander didn't want to talk about that either, but in a strange way it was better than the Sorel stuff. "Standard story. My father hated me. I was the screw up...the mistake. After my brother died...there wasn't any reason to stay."
"Older brother?" Jason guessed.
"Yeah." Zander rubbed at his eyes. Told himself that they burned because the wind was blowing sand in them.
Jason wouldn't drop it. "How did he die?"
Zander locked eyes with Jason. "I shot him." He waited for the reaction and was almost disappointed not to get one. Jason just blinked at him.
"Why would you think that? Maybe I'm a cold blooded killer!" Zander realized he was almost shouting at Jason, and he could still feel that itch under his skin. It was driving him crazy.
Jason smiled coldly. "You're not a killer, Zander. You couldn't pull the trigger on purpose. So what happened?"
Zander shrugged and rubbed at his eyes again. "We were hunting. Something moved, I fired. Peter died." He turned away. "I'm going for a walk."
"No you're not." Jason grabbed Zander by the arm.
"Let go of me!" Zander yanked free of Jason's hand and backed away. His heart was thudding in his chest and a cold sweat broke out, sheening his skin. He didn't want to be touched.
Jason took a step towards Zander and pitched his voice low. "It's okay. I'm sorry. I won't touch you."
Zander hit the table and clumsily moved around it. He felt trapped by this sudden image of a faceless man touching him. Hurting him. Panic flared through him and he ran for the door. He didn't get far when he was tackled. Zander fought like a wild cat as Jason tried to hold him down, until a fist slammed into his temple, then it was lights out.
* * * * *
Jason winced as Zander cursed him out. Again. He'd been alternating between pleading and cursing for the past two hours, ever since he had woken up to find himself in restraints again. He had closed the bedroom door and sought refuge on the veranda, but he could still hear Zander's voice. After a few minutes, Jason steeled himself for another confrontation. He moved to the bed and glared. "Shut up or I'll gag you."
Zander fell silent. For a moment. "I'm sorry. Listen...I won't run again...okay? But I need something. Anything you've got. Okay? Just a little fix, please, man...I'm dying over here. Please!"
"No." Jason heard the desperation in Zander's voice but he knew he couldn't give in. More drugs would only be a temporary fix.
"Fucker!" Zander cursed and glared at Jason alternately.
Jason turned to go.
Zander tugged at his restraints. "Wait! Wait...don't go!"
"I...I don't want to be alone."
Jason believed him. "Calm down and I'll stay."
Zander nodded. "Okay...Okay. I'm calm." He took a few deep breaths and released them slowly. "Hey...um...can I get something to drink? Maybe even something to eat? I'm kinda hungry."
"Sure. I'll be right back." Jason headed for the kitchen. He made a sandwich and poured some iced tea, then he returned to the bedroom. "If I free you... are you going to behave?"
"Yeah...I'll be good," Zander promised.
Jason took a chance and undid the restraints. He was pleased when Zander kept his word. He didn't eat much of the sandwich but he did drink all of the tea. Then he slid off the bed. Jason stiffened and moved to intercept. "Going somewhere?"
Zander smirked. "Bathroom. It's been a while."
"Okay." Jason stepped aside. He watched Zander enter the bathroom and counted the minutes on his watch. "Done yet?" Jason called out after two minutes. No reply. He moved to the door and pounded on it. Still no reply. Jason kicked it open and stormed in, only to double over when a foot slammed into his midsection. He felt Zander slip by him and Jason sucked in the pain and went after him. He tackled the boy as he reached the door and fury made him react. Jason kissed Zander and felt the body beneath him stiffen. He pulled back, waiting for Zander to freak out, realizing what he had done. But what happened next surprised Jason. A smile curved Zander's lips.
"You want a blow job?" Zander offered.
Jason was stunned. "What?"
Zander licked his lips. "I'm good at it. Or...you could fuck me. All I ask in return is one little hit. Or a pill. Just one."
"Fuck!" Jason stood up, hauling Zander with him. He pushed him into the bedroom and deposited him into the nearest chair. Then Jason loomed over Zander. "Did Sorel fuck you?"
"Not really." Zander shrugged. "He kinda sold me out to others. No big deal...I got a cut."
Jason turned away and began to pace, running one hand over his head. He was only now beginning to realize just how fucked over Zander had been. For pretty much his entire life the kid had been used or abused in some way. Jason would bet his right arm that until now, Zander had suppressed the memory of Sorel selling him out as a whore. No doubt he had used drugs to deal with it. Which would also explain how Alcazar had been able to control Zander the way he had. Being victimized was pretty much programmed into Zander at this point. It pissed Jason off to the point where he felt like he wanted to explode. But what he did do was jump when a hand glided over his back. Jason turned to find Zander smiling at him, a sultry expression on his face.
Zander let his hand brush over Jason's cock. "So...what'll be? Blow job or do you want to fuck me."
"Zander.." Jason began, only to break off and go with his instinct. He buried his fingers in Zander's long hair and kissed him.
© Shelly 2004