Chapter 34

Zander was furious. He woke up to find himself in a familiar place. Jason's old apartment. He got off the bed and tried the door. It was locked. Zander pounded on it. "LET ME OUT OF HERE!" No response. He pounded some more then kicked it. Still no response.


"You sonofabitch!" Zander screamed, then he reached for a lamp and hurled it across the room. Maybe that would bring Jason running. But it didn't. So Zander trashed the room, then he went back to pounding on the door and shouting. When his voice went hoarse he settled for kicking the door. Still no one came. Eventually he sagged down to the floor, his back against the wall.




He recognized the voice. Lucky. Zander scrambled to his feet and backed away as the door swung open. "What are you doing here?" Zander snapped at Lucky, accusation burning in his tone.


Lucky smiled. "I missed you."


"Leave me alone!" Zander shot back. He didn't want Lucky to smile at him, to look like he was so happy to see him. It took all of Zander's will power not to go to Lucky and bury himself in the strong arms. He knew he would feel safe there, so he turned away.


"Not happening, Zander," Lucky replied. "I'm going anywhere. I can't. I love you."


Zander closed his eyes against the burn of tears. He could hear the love in Lucky's voice. "Then you're stupid," he choked out.


Lucky moved closer, until he was almost brushing against Zander's back. "No...I'm lucky, pun intended." He reached out and put a hand on Zander's shoulder, making him turn to face him. "Stop running away from me, Zander. From us. You're the only one stopping us from being together."


"There is no US!" Zander shouted, willing Lucky to see the truth. They couldn't be together. Lucky deserved better.


"There can be," Lucky countered, his voice soft and low. "You love me, Zander...and I love you. Do the math."


Zander shook his head and backed away a step. Being so close to Lucky made him feel dizzy. "Love doesn't matter, Lucky. I'm nothing but a dirty whore!"


Lucky's reaction was instantaneous. His hand came up and cracked against Zander's cheek. "Oh my god...Zander..." Lucky was horrified at what he had done.


Hysterical laughter bubbled out of Zander as he pressed a hand to his stinging cheek. He didn't know why he was laughing.  Then he sensed another presence and looked over Lucky's shoulder to see Jason standing in the doorway. Zander strode over to him and kissed him, grinding his body against Jason's and feeling the other man's erection. Breaking off the kiss, Zander turned to Lucky, and gloated, "I like fucking everyone...not just you. So go find someone else to love."


"I know what you're trying to do, Zander," Lucky whispered. "But it's not going to work. If I have to share you...if that's what you want...then I will." He moved to Zander and brushed a kiss across his lips. "I'll do whatever you want...accept let you go."


"Then you're a damn fool!" Zander snapped. Anything else he might have said was swallowed up by Lucky's kiss. And Zander couldn't help himself. He kissed him back, melting into the hard body. He could feel Lucky's erection against his hip and Zander felt his own reaction. He wanted Lucky inside him. But it wasn't right. He wasn't good enough...clean enough.


Lucky's hands wove into Zander's hair. "I love you, baby," he whispered, then he kissed him again.

Zander moaned as Lucky's tongue fucked his mouth. Then he felt another body press up against his back and he knew it was Jason. Then fingers were working the buttons of his shirt and Zander closed his eyes. He didn't want to think anymore, he only wanted to feel. He wasn't sure how it happened but suddenly he was naked and spread out on the bed with Lucky and Jason both moving over him. Hands and lips were moving over every inch of him and Zander moaned and squirmed and begged and finally surrendered.


"Please...please," he whispered, as warms lips closed over his cock.  Then Lucky was kissing him even as a finger slipped inside him and Zander didn't know who was who anymore, nor did he care. His body was on sensory overload and he trembled as pleasure rippled through him in waves. He came harder than he ever remembered coming before and then he felt himself shifted until he he was cradled in Jason's arms, with Lucky between his legs.


"You're so beautiful, Zander," Lucky whispered.  "And I love you so much." As he spoke he pushed Zander's thighs open and then he lined himself up, the tip of his cock brushing Zander's opening, and then he pressed inside.


Zander moaned as Lucky filled him. He felt the burn and it was a sweet pain. He had missed this. But it couldn't last, it wasn't meant to be, and Zander closed his eyes as they blurred with tears.


Lucky froze, halfway in, and lifted a hand to cup Zander's chin. "Look at me!" he ordered, sharply.


"Lucky.." Zander squeezed his eyes closed more tightly. He couldn't look. He wasn't sure what he would see and he didn't want to lose this moment. It would be their last time together.


"Look at me, Zander." Lucky started to pull out.

Zander's eyes snapped open and he caught his breath. What he saw in Lucky's eyes was love. Love for him shining bright and warm and it flowed over Zander.

Lucky smiled and pressed in another inch. "I want to see your eyes when we become complete," he whispered. He hitched his hips forward and then he was all the way inside Zander.


"God...Lucky.." Zander panted and trembled, his own hips thrusting as he was completely stretched and filled. "Please.." Zander begged, and he wasn't even sure what he was asking for. He just knew that Lucky would know what he needed. He always knew.


"We need this, Zander," Lucky said softly, as he began to move. Slow pull out, slower thrust in. "We need each other."


Zander felt Lucky shift position, angling himself so that each thrust out made the tip of his cock brush over Zander's prostrate and pleasure rippled through him. But still he shook his head. "I can't do this...Lucky. I can't."


Lucky leaned in to kiss away Zander's tears. "Do you love me?"


"Yes." Zander couldn't lie about that.


"Do you want us to be together."

Zander nodded. "Yes." He wanted that more than anything, but he didn't dare let himself believe it could happen.


Lucky kissed Zander tenderly. "Then believe in me...believe in us, and let me help you believe in yourself, Zander. Please...let me help you."


"Yes...yes..." Zander felt tears spill down his face. Then he felt Lucky moving faster and harder inside him and Zander found the rhythm and the moved as one. And then he felt Lucky's cock twitch inside him and warm wetness filled Zander. Then warm lips were on his, but then lips were kissing his neck and it was in that moment that Zander remembered that Jason was there, holding him as well. And in was then that Zander realized that Lucky would always make him feel loved and warm and safe. But Jason would be there too, protecting him in his own way. And Lucky would accept that. "I love you," Zander whispered against Lucky's sweet lips.

"I love you too, baby," Lucky replied. "I love you too."


* * * * *


It wasn't smooth sailing after Zander's breakdown cum breakthrough. Lucky found that out the next morning. The three of them had fallen asleep in a tangle of arms and legs. But at some point Jason had left them, leaving behind a note stating that they knew where to find him if they needed him. Lucky had woken up before Zander and found the note, then he had gotten back in bed to cuddle up with his beautiful lover. He had watched Zander sleep until a nightmare woke him. Then he had held Zander as he told him about everything that had happened. With Ric and Jax and Lorenzo. Sonny and Jason. Taggart and Capelli and AJ and Scotty Baldwin. Justus and Stavros and Stefan and Brian Beck. It had killed Lucky to realize how those men had used Zander with little thought to the effect it would have on him. Lucky counted himself as a part of that list. And he said as much. And Zander had yelled at him, then they had both cried. Then Zander had told Lucky about his arrangement with Coleman. Lucky told Zander he would handle that for him.


Another turning point was Zander asking Lucky to move into his loft with him. And Lucky had been happy to accept. Happier still to learn that Zander had slept alone there. They would be able to make beautiful memories that belonged to them alone.


Another rough patch came when Lucky insisted that Zander go to counseling. Zander had screamed on Lucky. Then he had pleaded with him. Then he had just about cried. But Lucky had held firm and Zander finally gave in. Lucky had called Dr. Weatherly and made an appointment for Zander for the next day. Zander had pouted at him for almost an hour, until Lucky had kissed away the pout and they had ended up where they were now. The shower.


"I love you when you're wet," Lucky purred in Zander's ear. He stood behind him, arms wrapped around the slender waist, one hand fisting Zander's cock even as his own cock thrust into Zander's tightness.


"You love love me...naked.." Zander teased between pants. He was so close to cumming.


Lucky nipped his earlobe. "I love you...period." He felt warm wetness flow over his hand and then fingers curled around his wrist and Lucky bit his lip as Zander licked his own cum off Lucky's fingers. Then Zander was turning his head to kiss him and Lucky could taste him and it was bitter sweet. "I love the way you taste," Lucky whispered, bending his head to lap at the freckles on Zander's shoulders.


Zander laughed, soft and low. "I love you...period."


"I love hearing you say that." Lucky would have said more but he felt the tingle in the base of his spine and then he was coming, releasing his seed deep inside of Zander. Inside Zander was his favorite place to be and Lucky wanted to stay in this moment forever.


"This is gonna work...right?" Zander asked, when they were both able to make sense again. "You and me?"


Lucky wrapped his arms around Zander and hugged him tight. "It's gonna work," he stated firmly. And he believed it with all his heart and he was determined to make Zander believe it some day too. Lucky knew it would take time for Zander to heal, but he was a patient man.


Zander leaned into Lucky's embrace for a long moment, then he pulled away, moaning as Lucky's cock slid out of him. He turned so that he could kiss Lucky. Hot, wet, deep kisses.


Neither one stopped until the water ran cold.


* * * * * 


Three months later things were looking up.


Zander was still in therapy and it was helping him to deal with everything. He was happy and he enjoyed running his company.


Lucky had long ago settled things with Coleman, informing him that his arrangement with Zander no longer existed. Coleman agreed to Lucky's terms one broken nose later.


Jason had done his thing, talking to Ric and letting him know that it would be best if he left town. Permanently. Ric left the next day.


Now Lucky and Zander were celebrating Zander's birthday. They went out to dinner then came home to find Jason waiting for them. They welcomed him into their home and into their bed. It was an arrangement they all enjoyed, once a week. Although Zander liked to complain, teasingly, that he was nothing but a sex toy to the two of them. Jason and Lucky would attack him and in the end, Zander would be a happy, and an exhausted, sex toy, falling into a dreamless sleep, snuggled between the two men.


Lucky and Jason would talk for a while as they watched Zander sleep, then Jason would slip away into the night. He did the same thing tonight, leaving Lucky and Zander alone.



"Hey...I thought you were asleep?" Lucky pressed a kiss to Zander's nose.


Zander chuckled, sleepily. "I was...I still am sort of. I just wanted to tell you a secret."


Lucky felt his insides tighten. "What secret?" he asked, trying to keep the fear out of his voice.


"I love you."


Zander cupped a hand behind Lucky's neck and drew him down for a deep kiss. "I love you more than life itself," Zander whispered. "I just...I just wanted you to know that."


Lucky felt relief wash over him. "That's your secret?"

"Shh.." Zander smiled and touched a finger to his lips. "Don't tell anyone...okay?" he teased.


"I won't tell a soul," Lucky promised as he pulled Zander more firmly against him. "I love you more than life itself too, baby. Now go to sleep."

Zander nodded and closed his eyes.

Lucky watched him for a time, then he closed his own eyes and drifted off to sleep with a smile.