Lucky was dozing in the chair when he heard his name being called. He jerked away and was on his feet in an instant. He smiled to see that Zander was awake. "Hey...how ya feel?" he asked, moving to the bed.
Zander smiled. "Okay. I guess. Why am I here?"
"You don't remember what happened on the yacht?"
Lucky frowned. "Lorenzo Alcazar's yacht. He took you there and he was gonna leave with you. You don't remember what he did?" A part of Lucky rather hoped that Zander didn't remember. He didn't need to deal with being raped. Although he had to realize that something had happened. He would feel it.
Zander plucked at the bedcovers. "I'm sorry…I don't remember any yacht. Or anyone named Lorenzo Alcazar. Is that wrong?"
"No…it's not wrong. Or bad. Um.." Lucky leaned in to kiss Zander on the forehead. "Chill for a minute and I'll be right back. I need to let the doctors know that you're awake."
"Okay." Zander nodded. "Don't be long."
Lucky smiled. "I won't." He headed out the door. The first person he found was Tony Jones and Lucky explained to him about Zander's lack of memory. Tony said he would check on Zander. Then Lucky headed off to talk to Dr. Baldwin. She was in her office and Lucky explained about Zander. "He seems fine," Lucky stated. "Maybe it's a good thing that he doesn't remember."
Gail smiled at Lucky. "I'll have to talk to him. With Zander's original injury, he subconsciously blocked everything traumatic that had happened to him. Or, to be more specific, everything and everyone that he connected to a traumatic incident. Which, sadly, is everyone he's ever met.
"That is so wrong." Lucky felt angry, for Zander's sake.
"He's had a rough life, but you help him, Lucky." Gail patted him on the shoulder.
Lucky wanted to believe that. "I hope I help instead of making things worse."
Gail ushered him out of the office, walking with him. "Zander needs to feel loved and safe. You give him that. He knows you love him and that you'll keep him safe."
"Yeah.....I do a great job of keeping him safe. That's why he was raped by Alcazar!" Lucky was now angry at himself.
"You can't watch him every minute, Lucky." Gail's voice was soft and soothing. "Just love him. That's the best thing you can do for Zander. I'm going to go talk to him now. Why don't you take a break. Go home and shower, get something to eat. I'll call you if anything happens."
Lucky frowned. "What do you think might happen?"
Gail shrugged. "With Zander, one never knows."
* * * * *
Lucky was just getting into the car when his cell phone rang. It was Dr. Baldwin. "What's wrong?" he asked, hearing the agitation in her voice.
"Zander is gone."
"What?" Lucky was already running back towards the hospital. "Gone? What do you mean gone?"
Gail sighed. "Gone as in, his hospital gown is here but Zander isn't in it. Question in, where did he get clothes?"
Lucky cursed. "I brought them this morning for when he got released. They were in the closet. I'm an idiot!" He bolted through the double doors. "I'm back inside. I'll be right there." Lucky closed his cell phone, breaking the connection. He knew he wasn't supposed to use it in the hospital. He took the stairs and was at Zander's room a moment later. He looked at Gail who was simply standing there. "What now?" Lucky asked.
"Any idea where he might have gone?"
"Not a clue." Lucky ran a hand through his hair. "Why does he keep doing this?" Lucky headed out of the room. "I'll just have to start looking. He headed towards the elevator and just then the doors slid open. Lucky stared at the sight before him.
Jason strode out with Zander over his shoulder. Zander was wiggling and cursing. Jason ignored it, and Lucky. He walked into Zander's room and dumped him on the bed. "Don't move," Jason warned.
Zander glared at him but stayed put.
Lucky was right behind him and he glared at Zander. "If you make one move off that bed, I will cuff you to it!" he hissed. He was relieved that Zander was back. But he was angry at him for leaving in the first place. "What the hell were you doing?" Lucky shouted. "Why did you leave?"
"I wanted to go home." Zander pouted and his eyes were bright as he looked at Lucky. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you."
"Zander.." Lucky didn't know what to say.
Gail tapped Lucky on the shoulder. "Why don't you and Jason wait outside. I want to talk to Zander for a moment."
Lucky nodded then looked at Zander. "Jason and I will be right outside. Behave...okay?" When Zander nodded, Lucky headed for the door.
Zander watched Gail close the door when they were alone. "Lucky's really mad at me," he stated.
"He was worried about you," Gail replied.
"I know." Zander sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "I don't want him to worry about me. I just...I want to have fun. Instead I feel like a prisoner all the time and there are all these rules. And then I always seem to end up here." He smacked the mattress with one fist.
Gail dragged the stool over and sat down. "Do you know why you're here this time?"
Zander shook his head.
"You were raped."
"No!" Zander's eyes flashed. "Don't say that!"
Gail reached out and touched his arm, rubbing it lightly in a soothing gesture. "You have to feel it, Zander. You know you're sore. You need to accept what happened."
Zander glared at her, shaking her hand off his arm. "Nothing happened! I wasn't raped!"
"Lorenzo Alcazar raped you."
"NO!" Zander flew off the bed and began to pace. "There was a man..."
Gail turned to face him. "What man?"
Zander shook his head. "Just some guy...dark hair. Big. I guess. I had sex with him. I wanted to." Zander's voice cracked. "It wasn't…it wasn't rape…okay? Please don't say that."
"Okay...okay." Gail backed off. She stood up then guided Zander back to the bed. "I want you to rest for a while."
"I want to go home."
Gail pushed him back onto the bed. "Maybe tomorrow. Just rest." She drew the blankets over him and watched as his eyes drifted closed. Then she left the room.
Lucky had been pacing but he stopped and went over the minute he spotted Dr. Baldwin. "How is he?"
"Messed up," Gail replied. "I think he does remember the rape, but he's twisting the details in his head to make it out to be something he wanted. Zander doesn't want to deal with the truth. With the idea that someone could force him into sex. His mind isn't ready to face that yet."
"So what do we do to help him?"
Gail sighed. "Follow his lead. Don't push him. That's all you can do right now."
Jason stepped up. "When can he go home?"
"Maybe tomorrow." Gail nodded at them both. "Excuse me…I need to talk to Dr. Jones."
"You gonna stick around?" Lucky asked Jason.
Jason shook his head. "I have things to do. I'll be back later." He headed off.
Lucky went back into the room to find Zander asleep. He smoothed dark hair off his lover's forehead then kissed his soft lips gently. "I love you, Zander," Lucky whispered.
"Shhh…" Lucky was surprised by the request. He had thought Zander was asleep. But the hazel eyes opened and pleaded with him. So he crawled into the bed and took Zander into his arms. He felt the taut body relax against him and Zander's breathing change. Then Lucky closed his own eyes and drifted off to sleep.
© Shelly 2004