Zander couldn't believe what he was seeing. Jason and Lucky were there. They had come for him. But shame washed over him that they were seeing him like this, naked and spitted on Jemal's cock. Zander wanted to pull away and wrap a blanket around himself, but Jemal held him fast with a strong arm.
Jason moved towards the bed, his gun leveled on Jemal. "I'm taking Zander back," he stated.
"He's mine now," Jemal replied. "But why does it not surprise me that he once belonged to you?" Jemal shifted, pressing deeper inside of Zander, then he licked the boy's cheek. "He's perfect, Jason. Perfect and beautiful, two things you have always had a weakness for."
"Let him go!" Lucky interjected.
Zander closed his eyes against the hot sting of tears. Now that he remembered his love for Lucky, it was both wonderful and horrific to see him here. Zander wanted to go to him, yet he was sick that Lucky was seeing him like this. Not that Lucky didn't already know that Zander was nothing more than a whore. "Please..." Zander whispered to Jemal.
Jemal smiled. "Please what, pretty one?"
"Let me go."
"I can't do that." Jemal shifted again, thrusting into Zander's tightness, then he grunted and released his seed.
Jason was at the bed down, his gun leveled at Jemal's head. "You know I'll shoot you."
Jemal shrugged. "You'll have to."
It was all he got to say before a bullet lodged in his brain. But it took a moment for Jemal's body to register what had happened. Just time enough for Lucky to react and pull Zander away from him. He grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around Zander's shaking form before lifting him into his arms and carrying him into the next room.
"No…no.." Zander repeated, over and over again. He was in shock. He had felt Jemal's body react to the impact of the bullet, then hands were pulling at him and now he was in Lucky's arms but he felt dirty and sickened and he tried to push away from him.
"Zander...it's okay now," Lucky whispered.
Zander didn't believe him. The moment Lucky set him down, Zander moved away from him. He wanted badly to take a shower, to feel clean again. He looked, frantically, around for something to wear.
Jason came in and grabbed a shirt and jeans. He tossed them at Zander. "Get dressed. We have to go. Now."
"I have to shower!" Zander shot back.
"Get dressed or go naked!" Jason snapped.
Zander blinked back tears then he felt hands on him. He turned to find Lucky trying to help him dress and he pulled away, not wanting to be touched. Zander was still shaking as he pulled on the shirt then stepped into the jeans. Then Jason was pushing him out the door. Everything felt surreal to Zander as he followed Jason down the hallway. He stepped into the passageway and simply did whatever he was told. He felt cold inside and numb. Then suddenly they were running and Zander didn't want to stop. He wanted to run far and fast, only he knew that he couldn't run away from himself. And the demons he was running from were inside of him. Then suddenly they reached an SUV and Zander found himself pushed into the back. He curled up in the seat and closed his eyes as Jason slid behind the wheel and they drove off.
* * * * *
They drove straight back to Port Charles. Back to the loft. Lucky was worried about Zander. He hadn't said a word since Jason had shot Jemal. He had simply curled up in the back seat and rocked. Lucky wanted to comfort him but realized Zander wasn't ready for that. He had to be in shock and Lucky had to give him time to deal.
Jason parked the SUV and they got out. Lucky was relieved when Zander headed inside. He watched him grab the hidden key and open the door and almost run inside. By the time Lucky made it in and flicked on the lights, Zander was in the bedroom. By the time he reached the bedroom, he could hear the shower running. Lucky left and went in search of Jason. He found him in the kitchen. "I'm worried about Zander," Lucky stated.
"I think he remembers," Jason countered.
"What do you mean? You think Zander has got his memory back?" Lucky was surprised.
Jason nodded then set about making coffee.
Lucky dropped into a chair at the table. "Why do you think that?"
"The look in his eyes. And the way at looked at you."
"He looked haunted," Lucky whispered.
Jason finished with the coffee and moved to stand in front of Lucky. "What happens now isn't going to be easy on any of us."
Lucky nodded. He knew that. "We have to stick together," he said softly. "I'm sorry, Jason."
"We're past that," Jason replied. "We have to live in the moment, for Zander's sake."
"He'll always be the reason you and I pull together," Lucky said softly, as he locked eyes with Jason. And he could live with that.
Jason shrugged. "He gives us a reason to play nice. But I care about you too."
Lucky smiled. "I know. But Zander will always be your first priority, the way he is mine."
"Do you want me to stay?" Jason asked.
"Do you want to stay?" Lucky countered. He didn't want to be alone with Zander because he was afraid he would do, or say, all the wrong things. But at the same time he didn't want to push Jason into being here if he didn't want to be.
Jason leaned down to kiss Lucky. "I want to stay."
Lucky kissed him back then pulled away. He stood up. "I'm going to check on Zander." He left the kitchen and headed for the bedroom. The shower had stopped but the bathroom door was still closed. So Lucky moved to sit on the bed to wait. Only he couldn't sit still, so he jumped up and began to pace. When he heard the door open he whirled around. Lucky smiled to see Zander standing there, dressed in black jeans and a black tee shirt, his feet bare and his hair damp. He looked beautiful and sexy and Lucky wanted to hold him. But when he moved forward and reached for Zander, his lover back away. So Lucky froze. "Zander…god...I'm so glad you're okay. I was so worried about you."
"I'm sorry." Zander's voice was a miserable whisper.
"It's okay. All that matters is that you're home and you're safe. And I want to hold you."
Zander shook his head. "I'm dirty, Lucky. I can't get clean."
Lucky felt his heart break. "Zander...don't do that to yourself. It's not true. What happened isn't your fault."
"It never is!" Zander's tone was harsh and his anger was directed at himself. "I remember everything, Lucky. I'm so sorry."
"Zander....it's okay...really." Lucky took another step towards him, moving slowly, not wanting to spook his lover. "You have your memory back and we're together again. That's all that matters to me."
Zander backed into the corner then slid down and hugged his knees. "Please go away..." he whispered, sounding desperate.
Lucky didn't know what to do. Instinct told him to go to Zander and hold on to him tight. But Lucky sensed a presence and turned to see Jason standing in the doorway. When Jason gestured to him to go, Lucky obeyed. But as he passed by him he whispered, "Please help him."
"I will," Jason whispered, then he closed the door.
© Shelly 2004